Bringing new and vigorous life - flow - to conflict resolution

1. Align Mediator + Participants

Ensure parties agree to meet

Ensure the mediation parties are committed and are fully informed of the process through individual agreements.

Ensure mediator is respected by both participants

This is especially relevant when involving BIPOC or marginalized participants. The success of the mediation is often correlated to aligned racial and socioeconomic qualities between the mediator and participants.

2. Set Regenerative Expectations

The goal should at least be having both parties understand each other’s needs. The path to a detailed and enforceable agreement is significantly clearer once that is achieved.

3. Express Regeneratively

Introductions

Allow people to get to know each other

Active listening

Listen to how each person has been affected and witness what they have to share (use NVC).

Share and listen for observations and facts instead of interpretations and judgments. Describe and listen for what happened (what did someone do or say). Talk about what a camera would record, not about each other’s opinion or feedback.

4. Identify the Regenerative Needs

Needs are the flow, the life force or inner energy that drives us. Identify the regenerative need for each of the mediation participants. Identifying the feelings behind the needs helps identify the needs.

Needs Chart

Feelings When Needs Are Met

Feelings When Needs Are Not Met

Don’t Confuse Feelings With Judgements